Seating....

[GarryProcter]

Ahhh... Oxo. I knew there would be a cake trick in there somewhere Moley :D I hope your pub has a good supply of cakes along with the ale. Mrs GP is easy to escape at the moment as she has a dodgy hip. However, on Wednesday she is having her dodgy one replaced with a new NHS bionic hip. Once that's fitted I'll have to revert to locking myself in the cellar. Not too bad a fate, as that is where my fishing tackle and wine supplies live. No cake there - yet!

[Nobby]

My very best wishes to Mrs. GP for next week, then!

[Moley]

Back from the pub in one piece...hurrah!

I manged to annoy some Arsenal fans and better still, Matron has gone out, so I'm safe for the moment?

Gary, you need to secrete some cakes in your cellar and tea making equipment, just to be on the safe side. I hope Mrs GP's Op goes well and looking on the bright side Gary, if only one hip is bionic and the other is just a normal one it could mean she is 'over powered' on one side and can only perambulate in circles...all you need to do is work out what way she circles and stay on the blind side, so to speak, to ensure you get a head start!

Good luck Gary and remember always ensure a secret stash of cakes to survive unforeseen female violence.....I can recommend this strategy, it works for me!

John L, the cushion is a bespoke Nash one, although a small folded unhooking mat can suffice to protect the old 'Farmers', if needed. The Bucket is a green, tallish bait bucket with lid found in most tackle shops. Garden centres also sell them and places like B&Q, although they tend to be black. I like them as I can carry all the bits I need for a day out and they are not too heavy for an old'un like me, and just the right height for the Fat Mole legs!

It always helps to keep your bucket packed and ready for quick getaways....often necessary when you are small and rotund like me. Remaining one step ahead of the Female of the species ensures marital happiness and survival of the Fat Mole!

Ducking and diving as ever......

Mole Power!!! :sun:

[Tench Dreamer]

Back from the pub in one piece...hurrah!

I manged to annoy some Arsenal fans and better still, Matron has gone out, so I'm safe for the moment?

Gary, you need to secrete some cakes in your cellar and tea making equipment, just to be on the safe side. I hope Mrs GP's Op goes well and looking on the bright side Gary, if only one hip is bionic and the other is just a normal one it could mean she is 'over powered' on one side and can only perambulate in circles...all you need to do is work out what way she circles and stay on the blind side, so to speak, to ensure you get a head start!

Good luck Gary and remember always ensure a secret stash of cakes to survive unforeseen female violence.....I can recommend this strategy, it works for me!

John L, the cushion is a bespoke Nash one, although a small folded unhooking mat can suffice to protect the old 'Farmers', if needed. The Bucket is a green, tallish bait bucket with lid found in most tackle shops. Garden centres also sell them and places like B&Q, although they tend to be black. I like them as I can carry all the bits I need for a day out and they are not too heavy for an old'un like me, and just the right height for the Fat Mole legs!

It always helps to keep your bucket packed and ready for quick getaways....often necessary when you are small and rotund like me. Remaining one step ahead of the Female of the species ensures marital happiness and survival of the Fat Mole!

Ducking and diving as ever......

Mole Power!!! :sun:

Maybe youve solved it Moley

[GarryProcter]

Thanks Nobby and Moley.

if only one hip is bionic and the other is just a normal one it could mean she is 'over powered' on one side and can only perambulate in circles...all you need to do is work out what way she circles and stay on the blind side, so to speak, to ensure you get a head start!

That's true Moley - moreover as her right hip will be bionic she will be spinning anticlockwise, and as she's left-handed her angular momentum will counteract her left hook. It's accuracy and power will be much diminished. I'll stilll stockpile the tea and cake though :D

All this talk of buckets reminded me that when we lived in the US I would occasionally 'go native' and use a Homer bucket from Home Depot (equivalent to B&Q, even down to that garish orange) for fishin' (a distinct lack of Oxo tins though). I still have one in the shed, but I don't think the UK is quite ready for me perched on one of these.:

[Vole]

At least the instant carpers wiould give you a wide berth!

More best wishes for Mrs. G.P.'s op. She'll need a bit of fussing over, so gather ye gudgeons* while ye may...


* Or replace with bisyllabic fish of choice

[GarryProcter]

:D Thanks Vole, I did suggest to her that an ideal activity during her recuperation would be for her to learn how to do intermediate whippings and tart up all my cane. Her response did include "whipping" and "cane", but not in a piscatorially constructive sense.

If it's not too cold tomorrow morning I might be trying to "gather me stripeys while I may", though I doubt the perch will be playing nicely (last chance to get out for a while).

[Nobby]

You might be in for a shock....I've a few pals who have had hip replacements lately. They can be up and about again in just 3 days!

Given just a 'local' and a memory blocker, it's not uncommon to be walking within a week!


OK, cellar stairs might give you some peace for a few days longer........


There was recently published a Danish study finding an increase in strokes after h/r surgery. Aspirin recommended by The Stroke Assoc, probably just 50mg daily....check with surgeon post op.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20251121


I agree that intermediate whippings would be most beneficial, calming and theraputic.....for anyone who can find someone else to do them for them!

[Vole]

Fly-tying may hold more appeal; much more varied and instantly aesthetically rewarding.

If she's read Fifty shades of wossname, you could spice the prospect up by saying it's where entomology meets bondage - I mean, look at the vocabulary: Nymphs, whippings, fur, silk, glitter, and for the dark side (OK, for clumsy oafs who can't tie parachute hackles), gallows tools!

Or just the prospect of a few trout dinners with her own personal involvement...

[GarryProcter]

She has not, to my knowledge, read 'Fifty Shades'. Perhaps for fly-tying I could find her a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey Duster - someone must have written it :D She's keen on sewing (I originally wrote "she's a keen sewer", but somehow it didn't quite read well :D , on quilting, and painting (unfortunately not in the DIY sense). She has a whole string of 'projects' lined up and fully intends to make the most of her enforced 3 months off work (she has a non-sedentary job so it's 3 months). I have failed to convert her to angling, despite almost 40 years of trying. She was put of a bit by the first time being a freezing February morning pike angling on Port Meadow on the Thames at Oxford. She still relates the story, "I had three pairs of gloves on and my hands were still cold", being one of her oft-repeated lines. Even worse, I didn't catch anything, though a nice pike did once follow in my sink-and-draw sprat.

Nobby, I think she is having a general, but she did mention the possibility of a local anaesthetic. She works in the NHS as an Occupational Therapist and has researched all that stuff. If all goes well I'm sure she will be up and about rapidly. Once home she will have to walk a certain amount each day, but is not allowed to drive for weeks, which will mean me being taxi driver. So there goes my fishing!